The air was filled with a dark foreboding. Televised meteorologists pumped out ever more alarming missives containing the latest information about the impending storm. Would it continue on the projected track or would the-pressure system to its north relent and allow it to curve northward harmlessly?
A Captain, such as myself, must maintain his wits while coldly processing the torrent of information. He cannot indulge in the frenetic pleasure of panic. Lives depend upon his infallible judgment and unfalteringly precise appraisal of the threat. A Captain must exercise steely-eyed determination when dealing with his adoring crew especially when her beautiful green eyes look up to him for inspiration and guidance. Or maybe she just forgot to put on her glasses.
After carefully studying the data, the Captain gathered the crew, consisting of one Navigator, and bestowed upon her his decision. “We must amass sufficient water for 5 people for one week. That is one gallon per person per day”. The Captain used his flawless mathematical skills to calculate 35 gallons would be needed. He assigned this important mission to the Navigator. Maybe it was the arithmetical nature of the task that befuddled the Navigator because she asked, “Why do we need so much water?”
It is often preferable to perform a task oneself rather than convincing the reluctant Navigator by the use of logic and reason since neither seem to have any effect. A good Captain refrains from coercing the crew by the use of the impressive authority of his position. The Captain coolly replied, “Because I said so.” Perhaps it was the straightforward and unemotional nature of the delivery but the Navigator quietly turned and walked away.
A few hours later the Captain revisited the matter of the water and requested a status report from the Navigator. The Navigator reported she had secured the water. Normally, the Captain would be pleased with the concise reply however, he sensed the report was lacking in details. The Captain asked how much water the Navigator actually secured and she replied 48 bottles. The Captain was elated with the Navigator’s initiative in exceeding her assigned objective. The natural assumption was that she had secured 48 one-gallon jugs instead of 35. This would definitely be sufficient for an extended recovery period.
The Navigator motioned to the dining room table where the Captain observed two cases of water. Each case consisted of 24 bottles and each bottle contained 16.9 ounces of water. The Captain’s sharp analytical mind quickly calculated the total amount of water secured by the Navigator was 6.3 gallons. He asked the Navigator how five people were supposed to survive seven days on only 6.3 gallons of water. The Navigator’s response, “Don’t worry about it”.
The endless blue expanse of the Atlantic Ocean surrounded the tiny fleet in mid-September 1492. There were no shadows on the deck as the sun was at its apex. The gentle breeze filled the sails and caressed the vessels in a westerly direction. The brave Captain summoned his Navigator to the bridge.
“Bella Navigatora, did you getta the 36 barrels of fresh-a water I ordered?”
“Si, Capitano Cristoforo, I gotta the water.”
“Molto bene piccolina Navigatora!”
“I did-a not see 36 barrels of-a water inna the hold. Where you stow it?”
“Inna my room, Capitano.”
“How you fit-a 36 barrels of-a water inna you room?”
“I only gotta 6.3 barrels Capitano. Itta fit easily inna my room.”
“How-a we gonna discover the New World with-a only 6.3 barrels of-a water?”
“Don-a worry boud it.”
In 2019, the Navigator noticed the distressed expression on the Captain’s face and added, “I also bought pound cake, chips, crackers, and some canned food.” The Captain asked what kind of canned foods she had secured. The Navigator replied, “Spaghetti-Os, Ravioli, and Mini-Ravioli.” In previous years that would have sufficed, however, the Captain has been on a low carb lifestyle for months and the pound cake, chips, crackers, and canned pasta crap were of no use to him. The Captain asked in a most amiable manner, “And just what the hell am I supposed to eat?” The Navigator happily replied she had also purchased a can of sardines.
During hard times the Captain has been known to reduce his consumption of critical resources to subsistence levels but it was impossible to open a single can of sardines and have it last seven days without benefit of refrigeration. Never mind that an entire can of sardines barely qualifies as a light lunch. The Captain lovingly asked the Navigator, “How do you expect me to live off a single can of sardines for seven days?” The Navigator pointed at the pound cake and crackers and said, “Eat that”.
The Captain and crew will survive this storm one way or another. Don-a worry boud it.